Homesickness Guide

It’s a late-night phone call every camp parent dreads getting. A teary-eyed child on the other end of the line asking you to come pick them up. It’s late at night, and camp is over an hour away from the city at the end of a winding dirt road. It hurts to hear your child upset, but you know that they will gain so much resilience by staying the night and continuing the next day.

This is what we know about homesickness at Echo Pond:

Children of all ages can experience homesickness. Even kids who have been to our camps for many years and are familiar with the space, the staff, and their peers.
Homesick feelings usually come out at night – especially on the first night of camp.
Children experience homesickness even if they are having a great time at camp!

With thoughtful coaching from staff and parents, the majority of homesick kids stay the night and complete their camp experience. They feel really good about staying when they do!

We view homesickness as a normal part of the sleepaway camp experience. It is human nature to pine for what is known and comfortable. A stay at summer camp — even for a seasoned camper — can generate pangs of longing for the comforts of home: the family pet, parents, and their own bed. At Echo Pond, we acknowledge homesickness as a valid emotion; we don’t diminish the feeling. We use our own experiences as former campers and adults away from home to help guide campers through those feelings of unease and discomfort. We help develop the skills to conquer pangs of emotion.

If a child asks to call home because they are feeling homesick, we will ask them to pause the conversation. Then we will give you a call at home and update you on how your child is doing at camp. Together, we will come up with a plan on how to support your child through their emotions with the goal of keeping them at camp.

We believe that giving the child the opportunity to talk with their family will take away the ‘all-or-nothing’ feeling kids sometimes experience when they are homesick. If they think they’re not going to get to call home again, they might amp up their need to go home making it harder for them to work through their discomfort and stay the night. The only time we would delay a call home is if it is in the middle of the night (they can call in the morning) or if we are just about to start an off-site activity (hiking, orienteering, etc.)

A call from a homesick child does not mean that you must immediately come to the rescue! It is an opportunity to help camp staff help your child work through their sad feelings so they can come out the other side feeling happy and proud!

Here are some ways you can help your child if you get the homesick call:

Encourage your child to stay without making them feel bad for missing home. Tell them that you’re proud of them for going to camp and trying something new and that you believe in them. Acknowledge their feelings, but don’t let them wallow in them. Sometimes the best thing you can do is tell you that you love them, say goodnight, and hand the phone back to the counselor. A counselor will stay close until they are asleep and we will contact you if it gets worse.
Ask them about their day and talk about the fun things they are looking forward to doing the next day. Sometimes a chat and a bit of a distraction is all they need.
Sometimes campers are worried that their parents miss them. In this case, it is useful to tell them that they are missed and loved, but everyone is fine. If there is something specific at home they are worrying about such as a pet or sibling, reassure them that everything is okay at home.
Arrange for future calls or check-ins if you feel this will make your child feel more secure.
Avoid making a ‘pick-up deal’. “If you stay the night, I’ll pick you up tomorrow if you still want to come home.” You can always come pick up your child from camp but giving them this option right away makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you feel like the phone call is making your child more dysregulated (begging, crying, etc.) the best thing to do is to pass it off to a counselor so we can help calm them down and make a plan. We will loop you back in if we need you.

The majority of homesick kids whose families work together with camp staff to help them through these feelings do stay at camp. We have about 1-2 campers go home early every summer. When these campers feel supported and validated by their families and camp counselors they retain their positive feelings about camp and very often will return the next year for a successful week of camp!

A big thank you in advance from our Echo Pond team for helping us help your child through their feelings of homesickness!